You, Your Stretch Marks, And Your Marriage

Stretch marks can influence your self esteem and alter how others might see you; including your spouse. It is unfortunate and it isn’t really fair, but it is a fact of life that must be accepted.

You might not care what total strangers think of you or your body, but most people do care what their spouse thinks. There may be a small group out there who are not bothered by any stretch marks their spouse may have. However, for some, these marks can become problematic for their marriage, even if it’s subconsciously.

When you got married you may have still had a body that was in pretty good shape. You might not have had stretch marks at the time. As a newlywed, you might not have them now. But, as you already know, they will come. It is just one of those things that happens with aging; and can happen at an earlier age due to pregnancy, growth spurts, weight gain, and so forth. If you do not have them yet, you can help prevent them by eating healthy foods, using creams, and exercising. If you already have them, you can treat them and prevent future marks by also using the previously mentioned methods. When it comes to prevention, and if you decide to use a cream, be sure to focus on the problem areas (thighs, breasts, stomach/abdomen, and bottom). And if you do already have them, you may already find that you are less appealing to your spouse.

This also means that those stretch marks (also known as striae) can affect the sexual relationship between you and your partner. One of the most common causes of a poor sexual relationship between husband and wife is a physical barrier/issue that can prevent desire. Though sex makes certain parts of your body feel good, the experience is mostly visual (especially for men).

For women, the experience is mostly mental (or what is being thought of during the act). And, for women, actual emotional feelings are more at play during sexual intercourse. But, for the man, what he sees during intercourse is what gives him drive and helps him to achieve ejaculation; not just what his body feels. Both men and women can and do have sex just for the physical aspect but there is more involvement for a married couple.

Anyone can turn out the lights or close their eyes and use imagery plus what the body feels in order to achieve orgasm. But, again, sex for married people is more involved that that. Your husband or wife probably did not marry you just because you were pretty to look at, but at the same time, he or she probably wouldn’t have married you if both mental and physical aspects of sex weren’t good.

Even still, what it boils down to is that men like to look. And most men do not want to look at stretch marks. If he finds it unappealing, your spouse may not be able to perform to the extent that both of you would enjoy. Even worse, your sexual relationship could cease. A problem in the bed could lead to other problems in the marriage. But you do not have to let that happen.

The key is to remember that you have treatment options at your disposal. Diet, work out, take vitamins every day, consider plastic surgery, or keep your skin healthy and reduce stretch marks with a good cream. Most importantly, communicate with your spouse and decide on the most logical and cost effective treatment for you, or if your significant other really cares about them that much. They may not.